1. Blame

Produced by: Jason “Human Kebab” Parsons
Co-Produced by: John Maksym & Mike Chhangur
Programming by: Jason “Human Kebab” Parsons
Mixed by: Shawn Moore
Mastered by: Siegfried Meier at Beach Road Mastering
Additional Engineering by: Adam Royce at Coalition Music (Studios)
Additional Engineering by: Siegfried Meier at The Cat Box
Additional Engineering by: Mike Chhangur at Chhangur-La Studios
Additional Editing by: Jericco Vera at Close To Home Recordings

Lyrics by: John Maksym (SOCAN)
Musical Arrangement by: John Maksym (SOCAN), Jason Parsons (SOCAN, Sony/ATV)

Lead Vocals & Acoustic Guitar by: John Maksym
Bass, Lead Guitar & Additional Vocals by: Mike Chhangur
Additional Guitar by: Al Malnar
Additional Vocals by: Live Hart

Artwork Concept and Design by: John Maksym
Lyrics & Credits Page Layout by: John Maksym

Executive Producer: John Maksym
© 2020 John Maksym, Jason Parsons
℗ 2020 John Maksym, under exclusive license to Close to Home Recordings


I messed up, get dressed up, confess up
The worst of my feelings are very mischieving
My best of, consists of, the rest of
My being, that I’ve gotten good at concealing
And I don’t know why I can’t close my eyes
And escape to the places that I visualize
Maybe it’s the fear? No, it must be the fear
Of the unknown and actually leaving

I struggle and blame myself
It’s my fault

The guilt that ties knots in my stomach
And taunts as it carries the weight of contemptment
Suppressed by the highs, undressed by my eyes
Temporary relief like a substance
And I can’t make sense of my flawed conscience
As it’s caught in the toils of its residence
Gut check on myself, time for therapy help
Navigating the waters of my mental health

Too much, too hard, too soon to find the comfort in
Learning pain is your friend
Too bad, so sad, you dug the trench you’re living in
Survival takes digging in
It’s too late, too late, too late, too late, too late,
Too late, too late, too late, too late, too late,
Too late, too late, too late, to give up now
I’m on the outside looking in

I struggle and blame myself

It’s my fault